Singleness Isn’t a Problem to Fix—It’s a Season to Celebrate

Overcoming Shame of Your Relationship Status - Young woman scrolling on social media before sleep

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Why are you still single? Are your standards too high? Are you asking for too much?

Singleness is often met with shame and unsolicited advice, making singles feel as though something is fundamentally wrong with them for not being married. But why don’t we celebrate singleness the way we celebrate marriage? Could it be that singleness is stigmatized? I believe so.

When I read Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 7:7 MSG, it challenged the narrative I’d heard for years about singleness:

“Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.”

Years ago, I couldn’t understand why Paul would say he wished everyone were single. Was he unaware of how lonely, frustrating, and hopeless it sometimes feels to be single? Those were my thoughts not too long ago. But over the years, God has shifted my perspective. I’ve learned to find contentment in my singleness, not because I forced it, but because I sought God and His purpose for this season of my life.

If we, as believers, begin to see singleness for what it truly is, we could start dismantling the shame and stigma surrounding it. But as long as we treat singleness as a problem to solve or a season to endure, we’ll continue perpetuating the belief that something is wrong with being single. It’s time to explore the beauty and purpose of singleness.

Singleness is a season where you can heal, grow, and learn without the added responsibility of being fully committed to another person. In your singleness, you can be who you are, explore your purpose, and pursue your passions freely. You can travel alone, take risks, and invest in personal and spiritual growth. This is a time to rebuild strained relationships, nurture friendships, and deepen your walk with God. Singleness is a gift.

Healing is one of the most significant opportunities singleness provides. Past traumas and insecurities don’t just disappear when you get into a relationship. If anything, they get magnified. But when you take time to confront those issues during your singleness, you’re preparing to enter marriage or any relationship as a whole person.

Healthy married couples will often tell you that how they spent their singleness extensively impacted their marriage. Those foundations carried into their union if they used it to heal, grow, and build their relationship with God. But if they spent it searching for someone to fill a void or provide validation, those unmet expectations followed them.

We need to stop treating singleness as something to bypass and start embracing it for the unique season it is. The time you spend building yourself up now will benefit every relationship you enter in the future.

Heartbreaks taught me what I don’t deserve. Pain revealed areas where God wanted to heal me. Solitude gave me the space to seek God and explore the purpose He has for my life. The more I leaned into God, the more I realized my identity and calling are not dependent on being a wife. Marriage is a gift, but it’s not the only one. God has places for us to go, people to reach, and things to build that have nothing to do with a ring on our finger.

When I stopped focusing on what I didn’t have and asked God what He wanted for my life, I discovered joy and fulfillment that no relationship could ever provide.

When people ask why you’re still single, it’s easy to feel defensive or ashamed. But what if we stopped treating singleness like a failure and started viewing it as a season of freedom, purpose, and growth?

Singleness isn’t a waiting room for marriage. It’s a time to walk confidently in who God created you to be. You don’t need to justify your relationship status or prove that you’re “wife material” or “husband material” to anyone. You are enough, as you are right now.

Singleness isn’t a limitation or something to fix. It’s a journey of self-discovery personal and spiritual development for the believer. If God brings it to an end one day, you’ll look back and be thankful for how you embraced and maximized this season.

When society tries to shame you for being single, remind yourself that singleness isn’t a trap to escape; it’s a season full of opportunities for growth, healing, and purpose.

Celebrate your singleness. Celebrate your growth. Celebrate your God-given identity. You are secure, whether single or married, because of your worth.

Sade Solomon is a NYC-based social media personality and multi-hyphenate creator who boldly and fashionably ignites authentic and candid conversations on topics surrounding intercourse, singleness, and abstinence. After embarking on her journey of abstinence in 2013, Sade began openly sharing her life-changing commitment on various online platforms while enlightening and inspiring many through her journey. In her book, Ready, Set, Wait, Sade peels back the layers of truth about navigating singleness and abstinence as a single Christian woman. Her work and commentary have been featured by Good Morning America, Harper’s Bazaar, Essence, Black Love, and XO Necole.

MORE FROM SADE SOLOMON:

Study Shows That Single Women Are Happier Than Single Men

How To Tackle Finances In New Relationships

Scriptures For Drawing Strength From God’s Word In Your Single Season

Singleness Isn’t a Problem to Fix—It’s a Season to Celebrate was originally published on elev8.com